This year we’re eggnog-urating a new holiday tradition in New York: the Christmas Beach Party. And just like the real Christmas it’s based entirely on lies. At Macaulay Culkin’s iPod presents Christmas Beach Party there is no beach, there is no sand, there is no swimming, and there is no santa. There will be a fake Santa — who may or may not have a criminal record — letting you know who’s been naughty or nice, and delivering dirty toys from his big red sack.

So, get out your swimming suit (yeah, wear your swimming suit, dummy….wear it under your coat, there will be a coat check). There will be good tunes, beach balls, a group beach photo, and who knows, maybe a beach limbo contest, beach elves, beach complaining about your family, beach presents, beach Christmas lights, and a chance to rub sunscreen on Santa’s big pale, hairy belly. It’s a beach party!

Suggested dress: Spring Break Santa, Jo the Elf with Low Self-Esteem, Bikini Elves, Rudolph the Sun-Burnt Alcoholic, Kinky Claus, Jellyfish Stung St. Nick, Frosty the Blonde-Tipped Snowman, Speedo Santa, Frisbee-ing Father Christmas, Comet the Beach Predator, Buddy the Over-Tanned Elf, and Marvin the Disgruntled Macy’s Temp….um…who’s at the beach today.

Anyone seen ordering a sex on the beach will be asked to leave immediately.

Check out the flier designed by Zan Emerson above. See you there!

posted by by Zan